Thursday, July 3, 2008

13 Thursday Thoughts on the English Language

Some thoughts on the English language (copied from someone who had thoughts on someone else's thoughts).

1. There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

2. We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

3. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?

4. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

5. If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.

6. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

7. When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

9. Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

12. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,does he become disoriented?

13. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?


Kay Day said...

Why indeed.

Momstheword said...

That's a hoot! I've read some of those before, but it always makes my brain spin a little to read them.

Julie said...

I say we change the English language and say what sounds right, not what is right. Who decided it that way in the first place? You park in driveways and drive in parkways. Apartments are close together and so on. Lets just say what we want! I'll do it if you do it.
Well, I kinda do it anyway, say what I want even when it's the wrong form or word, so never mind.

Robin said...