Frankenstein Revisited

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't a second head. Maybe it's where the Frankenstein screw fell out of my neck and the doctor had to replace it with stitches. I still have the stitches. I'm getting them out tomorrow. They have become a little bit irritating. The cut is almost healed. I'm just hoping my original head doesn't come off when the stitches are removed.

There was a man who wasn't happy with himself and so he decided to have his arms and legs removed so he could be more streamlined and perfect. However, once he got used to having no arms and legs, he realized he still wasn't happy. He went back for more surgery and had the doctor remove everything but his head. He really liked living this way. He just rolled everywhere he wanted to go. Even if he rolled into the gutter, he could just roll right back out and get to a better place.

One day he decided he was going to go a step further in his search for the ultimate existence. He went back to the doctor and asked him to remove everything but one eye. He thought he would have the very best view of the world if he only had an eye. He lived as an eye for awhile. It seemed to be a pleasant way to live. He had few distractions and had clear vision.

One day while he was seeing the world, a man with big feet was walking near him. While the man was seeking his own clear vision of the world, a bird in the sky distracted him and before he knew it he had stepped on the man who was only an eye.

The moral of this story is...the man should have quit while he was a head.

And One Thing Led to Another

Monday I accidentally left two reports on my desk under a couple papers. I thought they were "no tape" reports which meant no one else would be assigned those numbers by the computer. Well, one really was a report with an uploaded dictation. So one of my co-workers along with two others had to look and look for it and finally found it hiding on my desk (however unintentional the hiding was).

So the next day they gave me what for--off and on for about 3 to 4 hours. It was pure joy.

So yesterday I decided to do almost the same thing I had accidentally done on Monday with a few changes: I left all reports in plain sight and I confided in one of my co-workers what I had done so she could tell anyone looking for a report that it was on my desk--before everyone got up in arms again.

It should have been at least a little bit funny. Maybe it was, but three of the worker bees decided vengeance was needed. When I came in this morning, my bulletin board papers were upside down; my big calendar was set on a different month; many things on my desk were changed to the opposite side; my phone and mouse were taped so they wouldn't work, my short metal filing cabinet was taped so securely I thought it was really locked (and it was moved to the opposite side of the desk); and last and certainly the most irritating: my computer display was moved to the right so I couldn't see the right-hand buttons, and I couldn't find a way to fix it.

Well, everything got straightened out by about 0830. But I'm going to change my evil ways. No more jokes, even though my kidding wasn't personal!